In my early twenties, I was a prolific blogger. I used to blog about everything. Down to the most minute of details about my life, thoughts, passions... I recall writing massive blog posts about a single song I enjoyed, a wine I tasted, training my dog to do tricks, or about the way I saw the world. I have an archive of all my posts from back then, and when I look back on them it feels like I'm observing a stranger. Someone who was so comfortable sharing every little facet of their world...
It's hard to fathom that was once me, and I feel the predictable inward cringe at the sight of it. What the hell were you thinking? Absolutely no one cared. Yet now, after so much time has passed, over a decade, it finally hit me: I cared. I wasn't writing that over-stylized, silly little blog for anyone but myself, and I adored every second of it. Somewhere along the way I became a much more guarded, careful person. In many ways, that's a great thing. There's nothing wrong with being private and carefully considering what you want to bring to the world stage... But I believe I went too far the other way. I became an animal that chose to live inside a cave, and would only emerge if it was donning its most effective camouflage. Simply put, I no longer wanted to be seen or heard. My reasons for that are deeply personal, yet I can tell you they were sourced from a bottomless hurt. A wound I thought I would never heal from, and yet here I am, hardly even feeling the taut pull of the scar.
This has been the year I decided to return to the internet after a hiatus that lasted a few years. During which, I was doing a great deal of writing, self-reflecting, and soul-searching. Most of what I've written has remained private, however, as I wrote it strictly for me. A far cry from the girl who once blogged everything and self-published four fiction novels with vim and vigor. I now find myself a woman who is content in just knowing she's a writer. If others read it, wonderful, if they don't... That's perfectly fine too. I created this blog to re-connect with the side of myself that seeks to share, and as unnerving as it is to be open with the world, I'm looking forward to the journey.
Thank you, truly, if you choose to come with me. What I can promise is that this space will be nothing more than my raw honesty about life. I'm not here to do anything other than be myself.
I like to hear authentic people, not people putting on a facade, so it's great to know we can see the real you!! 💙Anneliese
This is exactly why I write. For me. And if the words are meant to be found by others, they will be. Welcome to Substack.